October 2011
1 post
2 tags
Is it time to give up already?
I felt the need to vent about my fucked up situation where I knew no one would see it. Let me just list everything that is wrong right this moment:
I got pulled over for driving without my lights.
I was cited for being an unlicensed driver, possession of alcohol and possession of marijuana.
My mother is satisfied with this, because she is a sadistic bitch.
My father won’t even look at...
August 2011
5 posts
2 tags
I am not happy.
I think that this distant feeling is all in my head. I try to look at it from different angels. Negative and less negative. Maybe I am momentarily replaced. I am not considered anymore. I am boring. Uninteresting. Or maybe I just am overthinking and nothing is going on. I hate being an over analyzer. It always upsets me. I upset myself more than anyone upsets me. In retrospect everything is dandy...
1 tag
When I feel pushed away, I push farther.
I'm so frustrated, I could scream.
1 tag
I don't understand why I even try anything...
I feel so detached and distant and no one sees this. I feel like I try to reach someone and I’m not even acknowledged…I never put up with this but when you’re constantly told you’re loved by someone you feel obligated to stick around. I guess I don’t need anyone. Or at least everyone needs a break from me and I need a break from everyone. So I am done even trying to...
1 tag
My friends are boring me to death.
July 2011
14 posts
1 tag
Things are pretty nice. I am still unproductive though.
2 tags
To do (7.8.11)
Make some tea c:
Play some games
DMV for testing
Spend some hours at the dog shelter
Finish Angel Beats
Order Keyblade necklace
Make more to do lists
2 tags
If I cry and let it all out, I think I will feel better. But that’s not possible. I feel I will have a break down soon. Can’t wait c:
1 tag
Pep talks don’t really have a category do they? I mean on my blog that is. Ellie, get the fuck a hold of yourself and be assertive.
In the wise words of Jessi Slaughter (in a Kingsley voice of course): “Y’all don’t phase me!”
1 tag
I feel like such a sick human being. I need to get the fuck out.
2 tags
I sometimes feel what I say is a little too dramatic. But, I guess I am a dramatic person. I don’t really care if what I feel is stupid, although I am almost always embarrassed by my feelings. What sucks the most when feeling depressed is knowing that nobody notices or knows. Nobody knows when I’m not happy. Nobody cares and I don’t expect them too. I just want people to know...
1 tag
I haven’t eaten in two days. I’ve been sleeping most of the time. I feel everyone’s not here. I’m not sure if I’m having my depressive shits or if I’m just upset about this one thing. Not sure how I feel really. I made noodles and couldn’t even stomach them. I just want to lay down and I think if I cry I’ll feel better but my sister’s always in my room. I like running to this blog a lot to vent...
2 tags
We’re “okay”. But I am guessing since you don’t reply to me, you don’t try to even talk to me, that we’re not friends. Things aren’t the same anymore. You don’t consider me your friend I am guessing although to me you’re still my best friend. You probably never considered me your best friend even before all these things happened. When you two...
2 tags
I know it’s not good to shut out people and to push them away but at this point in my life I am no longer mentally stable to even do this anymore. I can’t think about anyone anymore. I can’t worry about anyone anymore. I can’t fucking cry over anyone anymore. I have to stop fucking having so many feelings and being so fucking over dramatic. No one likes it. I don’t...
1 tag
Disappointed,
When you find out that your parents aren’t who you think they are. When you feel betrayed. When things aren’t the same. When you feel uncomfortable around everyone you love. When you feel everyone will hurt you sometime. When you want everything to be okay. When you want to just feel important or happy. When you want to be productive. When you want to succeed. When you realize...
1 tag
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It’s really hard to express how I am “feeling”. I don’t know if I am sad, angry, upset, happy, glad, excited, depressed, or what the fuck. It’s just like. EH. I don’t feel much but I know it’s not good but then again I am not exactly mad or anything. There’s nothing really to be upset about. I just tell myself to keep my mind off of it because I...
1 tag
I need to clean my room. My desk has video games, polaroids, make up, drawings, and jewelry all over it. I would clean it now but my sister is sleeping in my big bed because since she just moved in she hasn’t bought a bed yet. It’s okay though because I sleep during the day and I just come on here at night. My mom’s charger isn’t working on my laptop again .-.
I feel like...
1 tag
Woah what. 18 followers already.
It’s been less than 5 minutes, I am rather creeped out.
-sips tea-
1 tag
I posted about this in my main blog because I...
But I forgot .-.
Yay. Babbling :D