I sometimes feel what I say is a little too dramatic. But, I guess I am a dramatic person. I don’t really care if what I feel is stupid, although I am almost always embarrassed by my feelings. What sucks the most when feeling depressed is knowing that nobody notices or knows. Nobody knows when I’m not happy. Nobody cares and I don’t expect them too. I just want people to know because I want them to stop or to resolve it or to do something to fix their wrongs. Maybe what they do isn’t wrong and I just think it is because it isn’t what I want. For this I feel selfish. When I feel selfish I feel evil. It lets me know I deserve not to have what I want. Which is simply for everything to be alright and to be happy. I am glad I have this place to rant. It feels like a diary…although some people have access to it and although it is followed by few, no one ever sees my posts which I am okay with. I am completely okay with that. I feel I am losing everything. I don’t know, maybe it’s not what I think. Maybe I do want to lose everything. Maybe I want to start fresh. Maybe this is all for the best and things are better off. People are better off. I wish I could literally be erased. Now I am sounding drastic but if you do happen to read this, have no fear. I am hungry again but I don’t feel like getting out of bed. I just am sitting here to write this because I felt the need to vent. I told my brother to take my phone and hide it and not give it to me unless it were an emergency…I don’t want to have to look at my phone and then feel the gut wrenching disappointment. I am rather enjoying detaching myself, or rather I am adapting fast. I need to stop depending on others to make me happy and I have to stop waiting for someone to try to help me or let me talk to them. It’s sad to say, I can never unravel again. It’s better this way. Less hurt, less disappointment, less depression, less anxiety, less complexity and less vultures.